Prank
by An Artistic Koala
Summary: Taz decides to play a prank on Up. It... doesn't exactly go to plan. T because I tend to make characters swear a lot.


**_AN: So this is the product of a prompt given to me by the ever-so-imaginative Savannah/Angel. There'll be another chapter or two where they resolve everything, so stay tuned for that. And please review, reviews are good. They make me happy. :D_**

* * *

><p>Taz strode through the Cazadora's corridors, a smirk on her face. This prank would be the best ever. As she turned into the hall that lead to Up's room, she wiped the smirk off her face, replacing it with a grim frown. If you looked closely, though, there was still a hint of a mischievous grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.<p>

Taz reached Up's door and came to a halt. She would have to be convincing for this to work. She paused, running over the prank once more, took a deep breath and knocked on the door. She waited for a minute, hearing Up stomp grouchily to the door, groaning and muttering about it being 'too early' and 'this better be good'. Oh, it would be.

"I hope you know that it's 0700 on a Saturday and I- oh, hey Taz," said Up, his (fake) moustache quivering in surprise. He leaned against the door frame. "What can I do for you?"

Taz sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to maintain her composure. "Up... I'm pregnant."

Up looked like he'd been electrocuted. "WHAT? How- when- who- what?"

"Krayon-der is de father, Up. We were drunk one night after a little too much tequila-" Taz broke off; the sight of Up's horrified face was too much. She clammed her jaw shut, refusing to let herself laugh. Unfortunately, Up's face turned from horrified to murderous. Uh oh.

"I'm going to kill Krayonder, the little shit," Up muttered angrily to himself before asking Taz through gritted teeth, "Congratulations. Does he know yet?"

"No, Up, he doesn't, but-" she got cut off by Up making a decision to go kill Krayonder before she could confess the prank. He marched over to Krayonder's dorm room and knocked on it, his expression thunderous.

"_Krayonder_!" he yelled. "Open up!"

"Up, wait-"

"Taz, this is between men. Stay out of it. Think of the baby," Up said darkly.

"But Up..." Taz stopped and sighed angrily. This wasn't how things were supposed to happen. She changed tactics. "Krayon-der, if jou open dat door even a tiny little bit, I will unscrew jour head and drop de wishing pennies down jour throat. Den I will stab jou, just for good measure."

On the other side of the door, Krayonder was silently shitting himself. Who was he more afraid of: Taz or Up? Up seemed kind of psychotic right now, and from the way he knocked on the door, Krayonder could tell he'd probably be in for demotion(as in, sent back to be an ensign or worse, a janitor) or left to the savage man-eating penguins on Mercury09. However, Taz seemed to take pleasure in threatening him with lots of very, very exotic punishments and injuries she assured him he wouldn't recover from. She also seemed to take pleasure in doing them. Krayonder decided, he was more scared of Taz. The door stayed closed.

"KRAYONDER!" Up all but screamed. "I will break this door down if you don't answer me!"

"Up, think about it. Maybe Krayon-der decided to take initiative for once, and went down to de gym before breakfast," Taz reasoned. She may think Krayonder was an annoying little idiota, but she didn't want him dead. "Go look dere."

Taz held her breath. Up seemed to cool off a bit, considering her suggestion. Finally, he nodded. The look in his eyes was still hell bent on Krayonder paying for the non-existent thing he had done to his lieutenant, but Taz didn't think he'd hurt him too much now. She relaxed. He started to walk in the direction of the Cazadora's gym, but suddenly stopped and turned around.

"You'll be okay?" he asked, gently. Taz swore under her breath. He still thought she was pregnant.

"Up, think about it. When have I not been able to take care of myself?" she scoffed, her face smiling but her hands clenching in frustration. Up didn't seem to notice her annoyance and nodded again, setting off for the gym. In Taz's mind, an endless stream of profanities was running in several languages.

Once she was sure Up had gone and was out of earshot, Taz turned to Krayonder's door. "Krayon-der, open up. I won't kill jou, I just need to tell jou something," she said, hoping to Dead God that Up got distracted on his way to, at and from the gym. The door opened a fraction. A timid voice called through the crack.

"You're sure you won't kill me? Or hurt me?"

Taz sighed in frustration. She seemed to be doing that a lot today. "Sí. Just open de door and let me in."

Krayonder took her word (albeit hesitantly) for it and cautiously opened the door. Taz slipped in and shut it behind her. "Taz, what's going on? Up sounded _real _angry before," he asked.

Taz ran her hands over her face. "As a prank, dis morning I thought it would be funny to tell Up dat I was pregnant and dat you were de father."

"You _what_?"

"Look, okay, it didn't go according to my plan. De plan was for Up to think that I was joking and we would laugh about it over popcorn and de Karate Kid, but he... he... well, he sort of took it de wrong way."

Krayonder raised an eyebrow. She was clueless. "No kidding."

"Hey, don't get sarcastic with me, Krayon-der. It's not my fault Up is a big idiota," Taz said weakly. "We need to come up with a plan before Up tells de rest of the ship dat we're having a kid together."

Krayonder raised his hands. "Hey, I'm not coming up with a plan. This is your mess, man, not mine."

"Oh yeah?" challenged Taz. "We'll see who's mess dis is when jour guts are spread all over dis floor, den. He wants to kill jou, Krayon-der."

"Oh yeah."

"So. Are jou in, or not?"


End file.
